My heart had been racing when I latched the door behind me and lay beside him. A thousand emotions in my heart, it was overwhelming. I was there after a long long while. I dint know what exactly I wanted to do. How do people show affection?
Sometimes I wanted to hold hands with him, our fingers intertwined. I wish our hearts were that close too. His touch, oh boy, I yearn for that. I could give up on so much just for him to hold me close and run his fingers through my hair and slowly caress my face.
I lay down there , hand on his chest, keeping a count of his every breath. How does one look so beautiful when they sleep? The little ray of light that fell on his forehead nose and chin, it arouse feelings in me that I probably can't put in words. You can't capture these kind of things. If only you could. He wasn't calm or probably he had just fallen asleep when I reached there , I held his hand. I wanted to take away every little thing that bothered him. I wanted to tell him you gotta be soft On yourself. That You've suffered enough. It was almost if it was telepathic, he turned and hugged me tight. I could feel my heart at peace now. The racing stopped. I let myself loose and gave him a peck. I adore this kid. I'm never letting him go, I thought. He makes me feel things I have never felt before. I always thought things were either black or white. He taught me its okay sometimes for them to be grey. People are twisted damaged broken but isn't that the most beautiful thing ever?
I always thought I'm good with emotions but now when I'm exposed to new dimensions of my own heart and the feelings that dwell in it, I can't contain them. As I rushed away from his room I hoped these feelings stopped or at least I knew how to handle them. Running as fast as I could, I felt tears trickling down my face. Once again I won, my heart lost.