Free Fall

Gasping for air, struggling in daylight, finding comfort in the dark.

It was my free fall.
I fell.

Like waves crashing violently in the sea.
The little boat struggling to just be there.
To exist.
I didn't exist.

Like a ghost I roamed the world,tired of not finding souls within souls.
I breathed.

Every day. Every breath seeking the reason for the next one.
And oh I cried.

For no particular reason but for this ever clinging grief.
Pain. It changes you. It lies heavily on you. Overshadowing every other emotion.
Pain. Of never being understood. Of never being chased. Of never being loved like I love. Of not being able to be happy.
Happiness. Is that light at the end of tunnel. Every time I try to reach there, I lose my way, to her smile, her eyes.
How can such lovely eyes trigger all that has remained unspoken in the heart?
Heart. Still hanging on to the long lost whispers. Still trying to Find their imprint in her careless words and emphatic cries.
She. She laughed and made my heart stop.

She cried and made it beat a little faster.

She went and took it with her.

Leaving just bits and parts of me.


Unorganized. Unloved.