A Solo Smile

Make a promise. You love me now and I love you for whatever the time remains. You will love me sometimes. And I will love you for the rest. Today, when you do love me, make a promise. Make a promise to me. I don't want you to promise me to stay with me forever, but promise to keep me alive in your memories, promise to remember our little summer love. Because I'll be replaying those smiles in my head every summer. I don't want you to promise me that there will never be another. I know there will be. Prettier and cheekier. But promise to never let them in those dusty corners of your mind that were once mine. Promise to keep my room in your heart locked. Empty and full of me. I don't want you to promise me that you'll never touch another. Kiss them to glory. But promise to remember the rhythm of your heart beating fast when you lay on me. Promise to remember how we spent the nights naked in words and thoughts. I don't want you promise me to never share y...

My heart had been racing when I latched the door behind me and lay beside him. A thousand emotions in my heart, it was overwhelming. I was there after a long long while. I dint know what exactly I wanted to do. How do people show affection? Sometimes I wanted to hold hands with him, our fingers intertwined. I wish our hearts were that close too. His touch, oh boy, I yearn for that. I could give up on so much just for him to hold me close and run his fingers through my hair and slowly caress my face. I lay down there , hand on his chest, keeping a count of his every breath. How does one look so beautiful when they sleep? The little ray of light that fell on his forehead nose and chin, it arouse feelings in me that I probably can't put in words. You can't capture these kind of things. If only you could. He wasn't calm or probably he had just fallen asleep when I reached there , I held his hand. I wanted to take away every little thing that bothered him. I wanted to tell h...

Free fall. Gasping for air, struggling in daylight, finding comfort in the dark. It was my free fall. I fell. Like waves crashing violently in the sea. The little boat struggling to just be there. To exist. I didn't exist. Like a ghost I roamed the world,tired of not finding souls within souls. I breathed. Every day.  Every breath seeking  the reason for the next one. And oh I cried. For no particular reason but for this ever clinging grief. Pain. It changes you. It lies heavily on you. Overshadowing every other emotion. Pain. Of never being understood. Of never being chased. Of never being loved like I love. Of not being able to be happy. Happiness. Is that light at the end of tunnel. Every time I try to reach there, I lose my way, to her smile, her eyes. How can such lovely eyes trigger all that has remained unspoken in the heart? Heart. Still hanging on to the long lost whispers. Still trying to Find their imprint in her careless words and emphatic cries. Sh...